A Good Pair of Glasses
Truth Directs Love
Women view life through glasses that see everything in terms of feelings, while men view life through glasses that sometimes seem to be without any feelings at all—just plain logic. We were laughing about it in the office the other day when the newest member of our staff told this tale. She was having herself a good cry. For most women a good cry is like a good nose-blow: when you have a cold, it just clears your head—most refreshing. Hearing her cry, her young husband came rushing in, wanting to know what was wrong. It is totally annoying to be forced to stop in the middle of a good cry to try to explain that nothing is wrong; you just need to cry. But the young wife did stop crying long enough to explain to him that when a woman cries there doesn’t have to be a rational reason. It’s just a girl thing. Of course, being a man, he didn’t have a clue. And, in addition, being a young man with little experience in the art of ‘husbandhood,’ he didn’t believe her; so she called his mother and ask her to explain it to her dumb son. He is learning ever so s-l-o-w-l-y. Men just don’t get it when it comes to emotions. Women are equally as out of touch when it comes to cold, clear logic. Most problems arise because our actions are prompted by our feelings rather than objective analysis.
Both feeling and logic are a necessary part of life. A logical man and a feeling woman can make a good team. If a man can borrow his wife’s glasses and get a view of the world from her perspective, it helps temper his perception of humanity. When a couple can work together, each knowing his or her gifts and abilities, and when they can trust each other, they can reach far higher together than either could alone. Logic tempered with sensibilities is like wisdom with compassion, judgment with mercy. “Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. Truth shall spring out of the earth; and righteousness shall look down from heaven” (Psalm 85:10).
But sometimes we see problems between couples caused by a lack of balance. Sensibility strives with judgment. When a wife’s sensibilities displace a husband’s logic and judgment, what you have is caring without discernment. How does this imbalance occur? How do feelings triumph over facts?
When a man’s moral confidence is broken by his sin, by constant criticism, by the hard knocks of life, or when his morale is broken because he and his wife do not function as one, the husband may lose his resolve as a man. He doubts himself and loses his ability to see absolute truth and judgment; in which case the man will defer to his wife’s interpretation of life in many areas. He becomes the sensitive man, nearsighted, where feeling dominates, instead of farsighted where truth rules.
It is appropriate that a man should defer to his wife’s sensibilities when it comes to babies. Her motherly instincts toward the newborn are a compelling force of nature. Even in training children, especially with the younger children, husbands have a tendency to trust their wives’ instincts. But as children grow into the world of responsibility, they have a greater need for objective wisdom, which sometimes may seem unfeeling to the sensitive mother. If mother seeks to protect her children instead of deferring to her husband’s just rule, daughters grow sulky and sons grow effeminate and weak, leaving them both unfulfilled. Fathers are prone to reject sons that mothers protect.
