Abusive Husband
I want you to read what I must read all too often.
"Hi, I've been reading your material for years and respect your insight on child rearing. It has helped me immensely! I have a friend that is married to a verbally abusive husband. Most of your material is geared to married Christians. This friend of mine is saved, but her husband is not. They have a seven-year-old daughter that is a confused, emotional wreck already. Her husband has had multiple affairs with other women. He uses their daughter to manipulate situations and hurt her mother. Whatever training the mother does with her daughter, the father tells the daughter not to listen to a word that she says. The little girl is told by the father that the mother is hitting her when she spanks her. It is a horrible situation. The father does not provide them with any food, a vehicle, payment for doctor visits, and so on. The mother has filed for divorce, not knowing if this is the right thing to do or not, but not knowing what else to do, she did. It has been 5 months now, and her husband has not been served. She has called her Christian lawyer many times about this. She now believes that this must be the Lord's will that she stay in this situation. Meanwhile, her daughter is growing more and more difficult at home and in school, with every passing day. The situation is so much worse than I could even begin to describe to you in this short letter. I know she would appreciate any insight that you would have to offer. She is very concerned for her daughter and wants only to do what the Lord would have her to do. Thanks for your help. Love in Christ, Her Friend."
Debi Pearl answers:
The Scripture makes it very clear how God feels about divorce, He hates it. It is an Old Testament passage, but God has not changed his mind. He still hates divorce. It is not His will, it wasn't so from the beginning, and it is not so today. There have been occasions, both in Scripture and in our ministry, where a man was so vile that God has killed him. A woman can come to God asking Him to deliver her from a man if he will not repent, but a woman should be sure she has obeyed God in her relationship to her husband, before she asks such a thing.
God has given us several promises concerning marriage to unbelievers. I Peter 3:1-6 tells us how to win our unbelieving husband, and in 1Cor. 7:14 God promises that our children will be holy if we stay with our unbelieving spouse and honor God in our relationship with him. That is a promise from God. These Scriptures give us the "how to" on our end and the expected results. I have seen God keep His word. I have also seen many who would expect God to keep His word when they did not obey their end of the "how to."
