Love Is Like God
The secret to Michael Pearl's success is not in training...
Dear Pearls,
My children are obedient, intelligent, and hard-working. But somewhere I’ve failed and it’s becoming obvious. My children hate each other. There is never a kind word spoken between them, they hate to work together, fight with an intense dislike, and seem consumed with looking out for themselves alone. My son dominates to the point of being a bully and tyrant, and my daughter uses rejection and solitude. My one-time easy going, happy baby is following in their footsteps. We have clear boundaries of ownership and rights, but the children NEVER play together or share. They don’t even speak to each other. Why? I am always cheerful. I train. My life is centered around meeting their emotional and physical needs, training them to obey, etc... I honor and obey my husband, just as the Bible teaches. My husband works away from home, but he’s a good man, and treats the children well. I can tell he doesn’t really like them, and I don’t blame him - what’s to like? What have I done wrong? How can I make my family love each other?
Elizabeth
John 13:35 “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
What follows might seem condemning to someone who has made every effort to be a good person, and it is evident that you have. Just swallow hard, say under your breath, “I don’t care, I want Jesus,” and let me tell you about the sweetest thing in all of life.
Many people read To Train Up a Child and assume that it is Mike Pearl’s secret to raising good kids. They are wrong. My Dad’s training principles are the reason we are well trained; just like your children are well trained. But training is not the reason we are good. Training is not the reason we love each other. The secret to Mike Pearl’s real success as a parent is found in his Roman’s series, and other audio Bible teachings. Mike Pearl managed to convey to us (his children) his true love, his hope and joy, his faith and understanding of Jesus Christ. It was not training that birthed my spirit into new life and new living—it was knowing Jesus Christ.
It is clear to me that you are good people; that you train, and live circumspectly. There is but one last step to take before you will find yourself on the road to success as a parent. Religion may look like that final step; but it couldn’t be further from it.
Those who do not know God recognize those who do by their love for each other. A head covering, a Bible under the arm, habitual politeness, and a whole string of kids mean nothing but “we are religious.” Those things are not bad; but they are not signs of knowing Jesus. Love is.
Children who walk hand in hand, laughing and interacting with each other with absolute enjoyment are a testimony to the Lost that God is in the house. A husband and wife engaged in enthusiastic, open-faced conversation will provoke longing and curiosity in those who do not know God. A whole-hearted smile at an absolute stranger will cause that stranger to wish he knew you, and hope you will talk to him a little longer.
