Ramblin'
A young father dropped by to confer with one of my sons on some item of business. His little boy, not yet two years old, wandered over to the toy box and began to drag out all manner of interesting animals and colorful, noise-making contraptions.
The men held our attention as they discussed several interesting items—everyone ignoring the kid. With business concluded, the father said to his son, "Come on, let’s go." I am always observing the interaction of parents and their children, so I watched to see how quickly the little fellow would give up his intoxication with his captivating pile of distraction. It was obvious he had heard. But rather than drop the toys and come running, which is what you would expect from and obedient, well-trained child, he started grabbing toys as if he intended to prevent anyone from separating him from them. This young father and his wife have done a good job with their first child, and I was hoping for a good showing with this one as well.
I got much more than I hoped for. The wobbly toddler, with his arms full of toys, crossed the room to unburden himself at the toy box. He hastily made several trips until he had completely restored the room to its original order, and then came to his daddy’s side. I couldn’t believe it. I quickly ushered them out of the house before my wife took notice. What if she considered the fact that this tiny tot was better trained than her husband? I know it is never to late to train, but it does get too late to want to be trained.
The most successful teaching is done before one year old. If you stake the plant when it is young, you won’t end up trying to tie up a crooked plant—something I do most every year. As I have said before, "If a child is capable of taking toys out of a box, he is capable of putting them back in." Children are able to do much more much earlier than parents suppose.
Most training is actually untraining. That is, parents wait until a child is conditioned to inappropriate behavior before they commence training, and then they are trying to break bad habits, not form or mold developing habits.
In our selfish, carnal state, we parents tend to be motivated by internal pressure more than wisdom—the pressure of feelings, frustrations, guilt, anger at being ignored, embarrassment, etc. We follow the path of least resistance. We tolerate more than we should until emotional pressure motivates us to action. The problem is that at that point our response is a negative one. It is criticism and irritation. The child understands it is the parents’ ego in competition with his for supremacy. I know the child can’t put a name to it, but his little soul will respond to emotional control and manipulation just as would your spouse. An irritated parent comes across as a bully, like an incompatible roommate, rather than a dignified authority that is training for the child’s good.
